those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
