That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
