just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
