ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
