So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
this is an emotional support booty call
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
