I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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