I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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