Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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