ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
