A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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