I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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