so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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