So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
