I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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