Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
