are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
