Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
