garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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