All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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