I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
