Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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