theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
