New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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