I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
