in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
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