i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
