She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
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have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
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All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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