tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
