I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
