i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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