Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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