he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
