Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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