I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize