i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
