omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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