it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
