In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
