Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I am available for nakedness
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
