I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
