OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
