So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
