If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
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if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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