Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
