there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
His nipple licking is glorious
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