I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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