do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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