at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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