I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was not drunk enough for that final.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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