Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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