she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
