you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
