i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
