talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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