That's when you crack a 10am beer
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
