Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please