Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.