I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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