My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
What a fucking waste of an outfit
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Come see our sink grown plant.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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