I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
