i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
