I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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