so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
