I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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