Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
