You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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